Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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