Who wears a wallet chain?!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
