That's intense
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
