so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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