did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
