Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
