Non-Jews are for practice
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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