I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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