Already got asked if we're dating
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
