i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
