More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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