last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
