your room smells of hookers.
And success
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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