I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
