just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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