My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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