I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Your penis caused this!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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