I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize