I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
