I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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