I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
