were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
