It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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