oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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