All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
