I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
