I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
