I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
