a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
