im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize