oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
