Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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