dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
