Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize