Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
