I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
