I must be too annoying 4 u.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just found a bag of teeth...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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