last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize