I wanna passion pit in your ass
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
They took my balls.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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