How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I had to cum in my sink.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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