just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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