Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
NoShamevember. You game?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize