ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
