we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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