Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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