She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
