just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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