i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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