i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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