yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize