Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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