Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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