he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
