It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize