Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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