first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
