id be glad to
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
