i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
