why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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