So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
