The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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