Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
