What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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