So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
