im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
