Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
