i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
