Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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