I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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