there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
