he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize