I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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