so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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