i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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