C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
