I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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