if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
