CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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