She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
