i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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