Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
