I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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